{"id":91,"date":"2025-05-23T02:43:25","date_gmt":"2025-05-23T02:43:25","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/deevaldes.com\/?page_id=91"},"modified":"2025-05-23T05:04:45","modified_gmt":"2025-05-23T05:04:45","slug":"eau-de-lacoste-l-12-12-green-impression-story","status":"publish","type":"page","link":"https:\/\/deevaldes.com\/index.php\/eau-de-lacoste-l-12-12-green-impression-story\/","title":{"rendered":"Eau de Lacoste L.12.12. Green Impression & Story"},"content":{"rendered":"\n
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Ballpoint pen with digital paint, May 2025<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n\n\n\n

Written September 2023<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Impression<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

I blind bought this 9 years ago when I very briefly worked at the local goth shop because I assumed it would smell like my beloved Kenneth Cole Reaction. I was very wrong! I don\u2019t hate it but it never gelled with me \u2013 it wore me, instead of me wearing it. The beginning is this green fresh thing, the platonic ideal of a green men\u2019s cologne. Then it settles into a strong, spicy, scratchy woody smell, and powerfully stays like that until you take it off. It always gave me a headache until last night, the day I decided to give it away. That scratchy woody smell, I don\u2019t know what it is. I\u2019ve encountered it in Sailors by the Zoo in a tolerable way, and in H24 from Hermes in a way I don\u2019t like. It just doesn\u2019t work for me \u2013 I don\u2019t enjoy smelling it on my body, and I don\u2019t want to smell it on a sexy guy.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Still, for the longest time, I was attached to the bottle \u2013 it conjured up a very potent image. But yesterday I got my sample of H24, and now it\u2019s like…it no longer has that power over me. I put a bunch of old perfumes to give away and my dad really liked it. That\u2019s the best way to end this sort of thing \u2013 I didn\u2019t want to sell it to a stranger.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Story<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

The waning crescent moon sneers at you as you make your way through the streets of downtown McAllen. You feel dizzy and nasty, almost like you want to throw up. Your companion, a lean, dark-haired, well-built white Mexican with a distinct North Mexican accent, is pissed. He is nominally your boyfriend, but you can feel how much he hates having to take you home.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

It\u2019s not like you planned <\/em>to ruin everyone\u2019s night.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

It kind of just happened.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

But really, what did everyone expect? If you all wanted a nice, wholesome, proper night, you could\u2019ve gotten something to eat at Salt or something. But that\u2019s not what anyone wanted \u2013 everyone wanted to get fucked up.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The thing is, you hate your boyfriend\u2019s friends, and they hate you too. Well, his one guy friend is nice, and you always thought he was much cooler and cuter than your boyfriend. Really, he was the one you wanted to end up with, but it didn\u2019t end up working out that way. To make things worse, in exchange for that slight kindness, his girlfriend \u2013 skinny, rich, perfect\u2013 fucking hates you. She doesn\u2019t even like him!<\/p>\n\n\n\n

But that\u2019s just how things go.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

At this point you don\u2019t even remember what happened. But clearly you said something you shouldn\u2019t have, and even with the loudness of the music and the thick miasma of perfume in a cramped room full of sweaty people drenched with the stuff, it was intolerable. And so here you are, in the brisk night air with your shitty boyfriend, wanting more than anything to just go home.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

You try reaching out for his hand, but he doesn\u2019t notice. You try placing your hand in his, and he just scowls and swats it away.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

That\u2019s about what you expected. You don\u2019t know why you even tried.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

You study his features in the pale moonlight. It\u2019s not like he isn\u2019t cute. And he\u2019s definitely fit. Sometimes, he\u2019s even nice to you. But deep down, you know you aren\u2019t together because you love each other \u2013 it\u2019s just something you\u2019re expected to do. Only losers don\u2019t have anybody.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The walk to the car feels like purgatory. It\u2019s painfully far way. It wouldn\u2019t be so bad if he wasn\u2019t so fucking cheap, the paid parking lots close to everything were RIGHT there. He knew you would be wearing your shortest dress and highest heels, but he didn\u2019t care. He didn\u2019t want to spend the ten bucks.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Everyone else did.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The fresh brisk air morphs into an intolerable cold. To expect warmth from this guy is out of the question. Your body is enveloped in goosebumps and your feet hurt.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

God! Why didn\u2019t you just stay home?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Finally, after what seems like a million blocks, you get to the car. It\u2019s a sleek, shiny, wine-red thing. You don\u2019t know what kind it is, but you know it isn\u2019t cheap. Even now, looking at it makes you feel a tickle of pride.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The enclosed space makes your fragrances mingle and bloom. Yours, a sickly-sweet caramel scent (a Juicy Couture, you weren\u2019t sure which, a family gift). His, a fresh green ode to masculinity. You couldn\u2019t stand how they smelled together.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

You decide to try one last time.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

You lean your head against his chest. Once, he smelled like making it, like you were finally living the way you were meant to. But now, he smells like the disgust in his eyes \u2013 a sharp, painful reminder of every way you fall short.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

He doesn\u2019t push you away, but he doesn\u2019t wrap his arm around you like you wanted.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

It\u2019s only a minute, but it feels like an uneasy eternity.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cI have to drive.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

And so you two sit silently in the night. The wide open roads are empty, as it\u2019s long before the clubs close. It makes the miles-long drive to your home the next town over mercifully short. You sneak glances at him. You note with satisfaction how well his muscles fill out the expensive polo you bought him– you thought it would look good, and it does. You feel a swell of pride in your heart, despite everything.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Finally, you\u2019re parked in front of your house. Your parents and siblings are asleep, so you could stay there as long as you want. \u201cWill he kiss me?\u201d you wonder, and look to his face for answers.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

His expression is hard and distant, as if he wishes he were anywhere but here. He notices your gaze, and looks at you with irritation.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Not even you could try after seeing something like that. It was just too painful.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

An awkward moment, swollen and heavy with all the things you two may never be able to say.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Finally, he looks you deep in the eyes and asks,<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cWhy can\u2019t you just be normal?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

You can\u2019t look at him anymore. It\u2019s something you\u2019ve been asking yourself all your life. You did everything you were supposed to do, God knows you tried, but it was never enough. You could make yourself look like everyone else, you could talk like them, you could even act like them, but they could always tell you weren\u2019t one of them. You worked so hard to have a normal handsome boyfriend, and a normal life, but it always fell apart the moment you were able to truly speak your mind.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

More than anything, you want to get on your knees and beg for forgiveness, to say you\u2019re sorry, to say you\u2019ll never act like that again. But something tells you to keep your mouth shut, open the door, and softly say, \u201cGood night.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The moment you step out, he drives off. He never waited for you to be safely inside. But it was just as well \u2013 for him to suddenly care about your safety would hurt your pride.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

You pull a cigarette out of your teeny Louis Vuitton purse and smoke under the moon\u2019s gentle light.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Written September 2023 Impression I blind bought this 9 years ago when I very briefly worked at the local goth shop because I assumed it would smell like my beloved Kenneth Cole Reaction. I was very wrong! I don\u2019t hate it but it never gelled with me \u2013 it wore me, instead of me wearing […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"parent":0,"menu_order":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","template":"","meta":{"footnotes":""},"class_list":["post-91","page","type-page","status-publish","hentry"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/deevaldes.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/pages\/91","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/deevaldes.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/pages"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/deevaldes.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/page"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/deevaldes.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/deevaldes.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=91"}],"version-history":[{"count":7,"href":"https:\/\/deevaldes.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/pages\/91\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":109,"href":"https:\/\/deevaldes.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/pages\/91\/revisions\/109"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/deevaldes.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=91"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}